Lately, since I’ve been updating Facebook and Twitter with my complaints and celebrations over my query, I’ve been asked what exactly I’m working on. The interest is, of course, wonderful, but it is sometimes hard to answer these questions. It takes so much more explanation than some people want to get involved in, for one. And secondly, many seem to have a hard time understanding why exactly this is necessary. Why? Because this is how it is done. That’s the best explanation I’ve been able to get anyway. Agents, and publishers for that matter, get hundreds probably thousands, of emails, letters, manuscripts, etc a day. They have to figure out a way to filter out all the noise and get to the ones that are serious about publication. At least that’s what I tell myself. So they’ve created a formulaic way to do this. If your first contact does not conform to these rules, don’t even bother. Why is this beneficial to their cause? Because I had to research the proper way to query an agent, and that took time. I had to write and revise my query letter with the help of many people, all trying to do the same, and that took time. I worked very hard to conform to their requirements, and that took patience and research. And that tells the agent that I’m serious, that I believe in my work, and that I deserve at least a moment of his/her time. Maybe s/he tosses my email or letter after reading it, but it was read. It was considered, and that’s better than not.
So, for all those who have been wondering what I’ve been working on, or just wondering what the book is about, here it is:
Twenty-two year old Liz has already proven she’s an unfit mother – after all, she didn’t even know she was pregnant.
To prove to her mother once and for all that her distinctive weight gain is just that, Liz goes to the doctor and is shocked to learn her due date is only a month away. Scared and angry with herself, Liz welcomes adoption as the only way to clean up her mess. She continues to guard herself against any attachment to the baby, so that she can keep her promise to the adopting parents who really want this kid.
A week after signing the surrender papers, Liz finds herself in a psychological game of chess with her therapist. He can’t seem to believe that she could make a decision like this without an ounce of grief or regret. It was just something she did – a choice she made, like which classes to take in the fall. After denying the little life inside her for so long, she certainly had no right to it.
At first, she finds it simple to just tell him the story as it happened. But as he continues to dig deeper, Liz’s determination to deny herself the privilege of grieving the loss of her child is tested with every session. Liz must accept that her decision is not a deserved punishment, but the boldest proof of her love for her son.